Well I grew up living with my mom,my grandma,and my uncle Larry I thought my life was normal grewing up without a father My cuzins had their father but I didnt have mine so I was jealous my other uncle helped me then best he could but there is just things you need yer own father for.I went to churchs off and on growing up...but I didnt really go understanding anything until I was 11 or 12 I went to the library and this chick named Surinam asked me if I went to church...I said no....she told me about her church...so I said ok the pastors mother picked me up....back then I was kinda bad...at churches anyway...I talked when da pastor was preaching...I talked during sunday school...I played with my cell phone 1 evening.....I forget what they called it we did at nite.....He got onto me before about it I just brushed it off like it wasnt anything then that nite he said "if i ever see that phone again I will crush it and not think twice about it"I thought to myself yea and u will be paying for another one....I later stopped going for a few weeks then I ended up going back....I payed attention I stopped doing the things I did....1 day I asked the pastors wife....what did I have to do to be saved....she told about saying the sinners prayer...I went home....thought about it then I ended getting saved that very nite....then I went back to church that following sunday and told her I been saved....I started reading my bible....satan brung my cuzins around me when I was doing oh so good...But I wanted my old life back I wanted to have fun with my cuzins like I use to...or so I thought....started backslidding....until I was like 14....then I asked God to forgive me for backsliding etc guess I wasnt really sorry back then as much as I thought I was....when I turned 15 Satan got ahold of me again I started drinking after hanging out with my dad and meeting his friend...I got hooked on drinking vodka....I mean I loved vodka then I ended up meeting someone online....I started digging him...he was cute....had a car....etc I thought this is my way to get out of here! I went and met him....things happened....And he ended up raping me.....I started drinking vodka more and more...was cussing,getting into agurements,fights whatever...1 nite I was hanging with my cuzins and bunch of friends I was drunk half a thing of wiskey,3 tall boys,and something else....by that time I was wasted.....I guess I kept saying give me more until they did I was started to get sick....I guess I Fell down some stairs too lol next day woke up pretty sore...I thought ok that didnt kill me I try it 1 more time...so I got drunk another nite I drunk lots of vodka,beer,and rum and coke.....I thought to myself I am gonna drink myself to death...I got so wasted...my friends took it away and I was cussing them out saying I wanted more and I meant it...they ingored me....I ended up passing out....woke up da next morning feeling sooooo bad I went to church dat sunday...repented....asked God to forgive me and I'll never do it again.....I stopped drinking....my uncle larry got real sick in nov and ended dying on nov 3 of 08...I miss him dearly but I felt at peace cuz i knew he was in heaven and happy I was so upset I went and sat ontop of the bridge I had two friends on the phone that day....I was ready to kill myself I was gonna jump but they talked me into not doing it...and Im glad they did because I wouldnt be walking with God right now like I am...I wouldnt be stopping smoking like I am...I wouldnt see a better outlook on life like I do I believe I have been giving a gift in prayer and helping reach those who have been raped,who drank,etc and I am very glad that God trusts me enough to help these people....well thanks for reading my testimony....God bless and remember Jesus loves you and so do I
Portal 
